Campaign Update

Both presidential candidates love attacking Wall Street and its many abusers-of-the-system while defending Main Street, which is a euphemism for us, the American people, the laborers, the masses, the many, citizens, you and me. But I don’t know anyone who lives on Main Street. In my experience, Main Streets across the nation are generally populated by businesses, usually banks and Subway sandwich shops and auto repair shops and sometimes hospitals, but rarely residences. If politicians wanted to use a euphemism for us, regular people, the hurting, average Americans, Yankees, gringos, they should use Maple Street or Second Street, which is actually the most common street name in these United States, or Martin Luther King Boulevard, which would imply that the candidate supports black people, or Cesar Chavez Avenue, which indicates his support of Latinos, or Broadway, which is a very long street, stretching from downtown Manhattan all the way to Albany and has the added benefit of voicing the candidate’s support for the arts, which I have heard very little about in this election.

McCain feels your pain, was a P.O.W.

John McCain’s acceptance speech this evening was stilted, his smiles forced, and his fresh ideas non-existant. One thing he said, however, struck me, and that was, “I fight for Americans. I fight for you. I fight for Bill and Sue Nebe from Farmington Hills, Michigan, who lost their real estate investments in the bad housing market. Bill got a temporary job after he was out of work for seven months. Sue works three jobs to help pay the bills.”

Wow. Heartbreaking, no? They lost their real estate investments in the bad housing market.

What about the millions of people whose homes were foreclosed on because of predatory lenders? McSame is so out of touch he thinks the victims of the subprime mortgage crisis were people who couldn’t make a profit on their investment properties. Those poor, poor house flippers. If I weren’t cleansing my colon right now [read: shitting out the legos I swallowed when I was six] I’d throw up.