This childhood staple brings you back to a time when your mom cut your hair and you wanted to marry her. It never would have worked out, though, because she’s a lesbian.
For the more mature palate, use cavatappi with sliced kielbasa or those tasty Niman Ranch franks.
What these frozen delights lack in Life Savers’ bold flavor and fun-to-suck-on-icity they make up for in coldness. No, the Life Savers popsicle does not have Life Savers’ patented life-saving hole, so named because one time in junior high I choked on a Life Saver and was forced to breathe through the hole of the candy in my throat until it melted and I could cough it up. If you choke on a Life Savers popsicle, it will melt much faster than the classic candy, but without the life-saving hole, it won’t matter. Also, you can’t skip over the icky green-flavored section of the popsicle like you do with the classic candies.
You can purchase Tínima at your local watering hole or bodega, if your locality is Havana. If you quiero the fermented sugars of malted barley, then maybe you’ll like some bottled with an aftertaste of flagpole. After cinco bottles you should begin to experience belligerency, but at about twenty-five cents (U.S.) a pop, it’s worth the dinero.
The Zooks have it all wrong on this one. Eating your toast with the buttered side down has all the class of Bill O’Reilly, but none of the charm. It’s unnatural and I, for one, suggest we take immediate action against the Zooks for this affront to human decency.
